It's A Lesson (Not) Too Late For The Learning

Remember that blog entry I wrote complaining about the copy written for Amazon's The Shade Of The Moon page? On the incredibly off chance you don't, here's the link and here's the copy:

The eagerly awaited addition to the series begun with New York Times best-seller Life As We Knew It. Four years ago, a meteor knocked the moon off its orbit and the world changed forever. Seventeen-year-old Jon Evans is one of the lucky ones…he ended up in a Tennessee "enclave" instead of a dreaded "grubtown," where the government doesn’t even bother purifying the ash-polluted air. Despite the fact that his own relatives live in a grubtown, Jon buys into the idea of the innate superiority of "clavers." His worldview is upended, however, when he meets a green-eyed girl who believes in equality and vows to help right the world’s wrongs. Can Jon afford to be as idealistic as she is?

As soon as I pressed the Publish button, I decided while complaining to you, oh lovely you, is a lot of fun, I might get a better result by letting my publisher learn of my dissatisfaction.

So I emailed my poor beleaguered editor and gently, very very gently, let her know what I thought. Only I didn't just say what I thought. I offered an alternative version.

My editor responded by asking all the people who needed to be asked, and by golly, they changed the Amazon copy to what I suggested.

Naturally I kept the eagerly awaited part. My publisher added the rest of the first paragraph, figuring there were people who might want to know what the setup for the book actually is.

The eagerly awaited addition to the series begun with the New York Times best-seller Life As We Knew It, in which a meteor knocks the moon off its orbit and the world changes forever.

But the rest is what I wrote, and I'm delighted that my publisher agreed to go with my version.

It's been more than two years since Jon Evans and his family left Pennsylvania, hoping to find a safe place to live, yet Jon remains haunted by the deaths of those he loved. His prowess on a soccer field has guaranteed him a home in a well-protected enclave. But Jon is painfully aware that a missed goal, a careless word, even falling in love, can put his life and those of his mother, his sister Miranda, and her husband, Alex, in jeopardy. Can Jon risk doing what is right in a world gone so terribly wrong?

So now I know how to render change. You don't just whine. You whine to the people in power and you offer an alternative suggestion that they can accept.

The world is about to become a better place, now that I've figured this out.

Oh Mr. Boehner? Mr. Cantor? I have a few suggestions for you!

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