Because I am self-employed, I feel the need to impose structure on my life, the sort other people might get from 9-5 jobs or plowing through a semester.
Therefore, once every four years, I go to my mother's assisted living complex and give a talk about what to look for at the Olympic figure skating competition.
I bring with me Marci and my figure skating bunny rabbits. This year Cynthia, who'll be giving me a birthday dinner a few days later, is also coming along.
You're all invited too. It's in Goshen, NY on Friday, Feb. 12 at 10 AM. I'm going to be talking about figure skating for an hour and then about writing books for as long as people might be interested. Most importantly, there'll be baked goods and hot chocolate and coffee. Well, the coffee isn't that important, but the baked goods and hot chocolate are enough to get me there.
The figure skating bunny rabbits were a gift from my friend Beth, who said she found them at a yard sale. Bunny rabbit boy is looking a tad frayed these days, and his pants are being held up by a very large safety pin. But that doesn't stop him, or bunny rabbit girl, from demonstrating jumps and spins and twizzles.
This year's talk is going to focus on proper edge technique and those nasty underrotated jumps. Marci has informed me that her knees can no longer sustain triple axels, even the underrotated kind, so it's going to be all the more important that the figure skating bunny rabbits perform to their utmost and keep their pants on.
Unfortunately for the figure skating bunny rabbits, it turns out Scooter's favorite skater is Tonya Harding.
He claims he was just retying figure skating bunny rabbit girl's bootlace, but figure skating bunny rabbit boy and I have our doubts!