I am not a boastful person.
I know this because when waitresses ask me how I'm doing, my answer never lasts longer than eleven minutes, thirty nine seconds (I carry a stopwatch just to make sure).
If you, oh skeptical one (I never overestimate the number of people who read this blog), have any doubts, then consider this: I have yet to boast, in public at least, about the two pounds I've lost (four if I stand on the scale a seventy five degree angle), or that I'm still on budget in my clothes shopping mania (in spite of the adorable brown jacket, the three darling sweaters, and those nine positively cuddly pairs of socks).
All boastworthy accomplishments, I'm sure you'd agree.
The other day, while taking a break from my obsessive googling by obsessively yahooing, I discovered that The Extremely Great State Of Connecticut was offering a one half credit course enticingly entitled "Modern Literature Session 2" in its adult education high school diploma program.
Why, oh skeptical one asks, should I care? Because the first half of this six week course, three whole weeks, is devoted to the study of Life As We Knew It. Meaning, The Extremely Great State Of Connecticut thinks my very own LAWKI is worth one entire quarter credit!
Since I'm such a failure at boasting, I've been working on other means of informing all humanity of this extraordinary fact. Thus far I've worked out three exceedingly subtle approaches.
Approach Number One: Making Use Of My Film History Degree
So I see Turner Classic Movies will be showing that wonderful Barbara Stanwyck comedy, Christmas In Connecticut. Speaking of Connecticut, did you know that The Extremely Great State Of Connecticut is offering a one half credit course called Modern Literature Session 2, with the first half devoted to studying Life As We Knew It?
Approach The Second: Current Affairs
No matter what I think of the man, I truly believe George Bush deserves full credit for what's happening in Iraq. Speaking of full credit, did you know The Extremely Great State Of Connecticut is offering a one half credit course in Modern Literature Session 2, with one half of that one half credit going for study of Life As We Knew It?
Approach Da Toid: Other Greats Of Literature
Boy, they sure don't make them like Elinor Glyn anymore. What a writer! Classics like Beyond The Rocks and Three Weeks. Speaking of three weeks, did you know that The Extremely Great State Of Connecticut, in its fabulous Modern Literature Session 2 course, is devoting three weeks to studying Life As We Knew It?
Now if I can only work out a connection between studyingLife As We Knew It and lewd behavior in the men's room of the Minneapolis Airport, well then I'd truly have something to boast about.