Thursday, December 11, 2008

Charlotte The Kitten Died

I'm writing this now because I don't want to have to think about writing it later.

I was scheduled to fly to Chicago yesterday, for school appearances today and tomorrow. I got to the airport knowing the flight was delayed. After a while, it was announced that the flight was cancelled. Since I needed to be at the school in the morning, there was no point rescheduling for a flight today, so I drove home.

I knew something was a little off with Charlotte, but I thought she had worms, or some other intestinal problem that humane society kittens frequently have. I had brought my vet's phone number with me (he doesn't have Wednesday hours) so I could call from Illinois and make a Saturday appointment.

My friends Marci and Bill dropped by on Charlotte while I was at the airport, and left a message for me that she was fine. She'd sat on both their laps.

When I got home last night, Charlotte was very happy to see me. She sat on my lap and when I went to bed, she climbed on as she always did.

But when I woke up this morning, I could tell that something awful had happened. I raced her to the vet, who said she had died. I asked why, and was told with kittens it was impossible to tell.

I've rescheduled the trip to Illinois for Sunday-Tuesday. I've sent emails to all my friends to tell them about Charlotte. Now I've written this blog to tell all of you. I told my friends not to call, and I won't be answering comments or emails, at least not for a while. The shock and the pain is just too overwhelming.

39 comments:

S.M.D. said...

I'm so sorry to hear that, Susan. Not sure what else to say except that my thoughts are with you.

PAMELA ROSS said...

No words needed.

Prayers sent up in silence for you.

-Pamela Ross, heart broken with you

janni said...

I'm so sorry.

Anne Marie said...

I'm so very sorry, Susan.

Anonymous said...

::hugs:: Sue, I'm sorry for you and for Charlotte. Obviously, you two had a lot of love for each other. My thoughts are with you.

Kylen

Minna Leigh said...

I'm so sorry!

leona said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Charlotte. I recently lost my 3 yr. old cat in the same way (very sudden, no warning, came home from work and she was gone). I still feel terrible and miss her but I tell myself at least she was happy and very loved by me for the little time I had her. I hope you can feel that way about Charlotte. Even though you miss her and feel a huge loss please know she was happy and loved with/by you.

heather t said...

Oh no! I'm so sorry. We will miss Charlotte too, even with the little time she was on your blog. Thank you for sharing her with us. ::hugs:: to you.

Nora said...

I'm so sad to hear that. My thoughts are with you.

Paige Y. said...

Susan,

My heart aches for you. I am so sorry.

Texas Pixie said...

:( I'm so sorry, Susan. I just lost my Lily (guinea pig) last week. I know it's hard, and nothing anybody can say will really help you. You're in my prayers.

Susan said...

Oh Susan...

I'm tearing up still, thinking about the news. I know how much you needed this kitten, and from your pictures, how much this kitten needed you.

I'm glad you both had one another during the short time Charlotte was on Earth.

I'm so sorry.

-Susan

Jen Robinson said...

So sorry, Sue!

Lee said...

That's terrible, we're so sorry...

Anonymous said...

I feel for you. Between the time I got my first cat Hope and my second cat Faith, I got a beautiful, sweet-natured cat named Abigail. Unfortunately, the rescue place I got her from didn't test for feline leukemia, and it turned out she had it, and had to leave this world.

Anonymous Santa Fe

Anonymous said...

Susan, I wish I could think of something to say. I'm really sorry.

Aoife

Anonymous said...

I'm so so sorry.

CLM said...

That is so sad! At least she had some very happy days with you, frolicking as all kittens should.

April Henry said...

Oh no! She had a good life. I'm sorry it was so short.

Anonymous Person said...

Dear Ms. Pfeffer,
I am sorry about Charlotte. She is a sweet kitten. We will all miss her.
It is cruel how short life can be but as we can see she had a fun time with watching a video of herself.
Please accept my sympathy and may the happy memories of Charlotte stay with you.
Thinking of you,
Anonymous Person

Linda Jacobs said...

I'm sitting here with a lump in my throat. I can't even imagine how you feel.

You're in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

i'm sorry Susan. i love cats, so i think this is hard for all cat-owners and lovers. :'( i'm thinking of you and charlotte. :(

-Alyssa

Susan Beth Pfeffer said...

Thank you for your messages. They have meant the world to me.

The past couple of days have been very hard. In case you hadn't noticed, I was beserk about Charlotte. Thursday I spent alternating between weeping uncontrollably and being a zombie. I had had the same two cats for thirteen years, and then within six months, I lost both of them and a kitten. I usually don't complain about life being unfair, since the fates have been unusually kind to me, but it just seemed so unfair.

But I'm not someone who is comfortable with unhappiness. So yesterday when I was feeling particularly sad, I remembered something from the wonderful biography of Elvis Presley- Last Train To Memphis by Peter Guralnick. Elvis's mother had just died and he and his father were distraught:

"'He and his dad would just be pacing around, walk up to the front door with their arms locked around each other, and I remember the father saying, "Elvis look at them chickens. Mama ain't never going to feed them chickens no more." "No Daddy, Mama won't never feed them chickens anymore."'"

So when I felt sad, I said, "Chickens," to myself, and
knocked a little bit of my self pity out of the way.

Tomorrow I go to Illinois, to visit the schools I was supposed to go to last Thursday and Friday. If I feel any melancholy on the flights or in the hotel room, I'll think of you, and the chickens, and I know I'll smile.

Anonymous said...

This may be the time to adopt an older cat. Not ancient, but a year or two of age. So many people are forced to give up their non-kittens, for many reasons, and these cats, unlike the kittens, have so often grown accustomed to human companionship. Still playful, but now alone, it would be a great gift to adopt one of them.

Dawn said...

Dear lord Susan,
How horrible! I am so sorry that you have had to deal with this. Haven't you been through enough!

My mom had a kitten that passed away while she was at work about a year ago and the vet said that it is similar to SIDS...absolutely horrible.

My thoughts and warm wishes go out to you.

Dawn

Anonymous said...

Im sorry for your loss, i recently lost my cat, because of my nieghbors who ran him over and then hid the body, (Yeah they are that mean).My thoughts will be with you.

Anonymous said...

I am very sorry to hear this sad news. My heart goes out to you.

Glen

Jade(: said...

I am so sorry about your loss. My condolences are with you and your family. I am not sure what else to say besides that except I am very, very sorry.

Liv Eriksson said...

Susan,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss of beautiful Charlotte. I know kind, well intentioned words will really never ease the grief you feel. I lost my beloved 11 year old cat a year ago due to complications from his diabetes and I still miss him. It is my hope that you can open your heart and your home to a new cat or kitten soon. The best healing for me was bringing another cat into my life. He gives me joy every day! I would love to see your blog feature feline antics again soon!

Susan Beth Pfeffer said...

I want to thank all of you again. As my friend Janet wrote me: Your bloggers are wonderful.

Having Charlotte made me so happy, I'm sure I'll get another kitten. But I'll wait until springtime, since I'll be away on vacation in March.

I am so grateful for the support and caring you showed me. You are wonderful, and I am very fortunate that you're part of my life.

Maria said...

I am so sorry :(
You and Charlotte will be in my thoughts.

I lost my cat, Okemo, a couple years ago (he had a tumor). I miss him so much, so I know what you're going through.

Lauren said...

Oh no! I'm catching up on your blog from the past few weeks and this entry made me cry, I know how distraught I'd be if anything happened to my cat. You're in my thoughts.

Susan Beth Pfeffer said...

Thank you Maria and Lauren-

It's been hard. I still miss Charlotte and I miss having a cat.

I'm thinking I'll try again this spring, but I don't think I'll ever find a kitten as cute as Charlotte was.

She'll be a tough act to follow.

Anne M said...

Oh, Susan....I'm so sorry to read this. I hope you are doing better. Prayers and thoughts sent to you.
Anne

Susan Beth Pfeffer said...

Thank you Anne M-

I had a dream last night that I found a pink cat with a black tail. Apparently this wasn't colorful enough, since later I dreamt about a blue cat I named Denim.

I dreamed a lot about cats before I found Charlotte, but I really can't get another kitten before springtime, so I'd better start dreaming about something else!

Kathryn said...

Hey Susan,
I am so sorry to hear about your kitten. This might be a little late and you might read this entry but I really do feel for you and your kitten.
I loved watching your movie star because she reminded me of a cat that I used to have and still see often, his name is Boots and he looks as if he is wearing a tux… And some white shoes.
I'm glad to hear that you're getting another kitten (and that you’re going to wait until a time that’s right for you to do that)
I wish you luck with what life brings you these next weeks, and I will leave this message in hopes that Charlotte is looking down, and thanking you for making what short life she had with you great. And just so you know from the movies, and blogs you posted you really could tell and get the felling that you really did love your Charlotte.
A lover of both LAWKI , and D&G

Susan Beth Pfeffer said...

Thank you Kathryn-

I still feel the loss of all three of my cats very deeply. But I'm sure in the spring I'll find a kitten to love, and will enjoy being its person for many years to come.

Emmalee said...

Oh sad! :,(

~Emmalee

Susan Beth Pfeffer said...

Thank you Emmalee.

It still makes me very sad when I think about Charlotte's death.

But I'm hoping to get a new kitten very soon.