Friday, February 5, 2010

"Why Me?" Cried The Figure Skating Bunny Rabbit

Because I am self-employed, I feel the need to impose structure on my life, the sort other people might get from 9-5 jobs or plowing through a semester.

Therefore, once every four years, I go to my mother's assisted living complex and give a talk about what to look for at the Olympic figure skating competition.

I bring with me Marci and my figure skating bunny rabbits. This year Cynthia, who'll be giving me a birthday dinner a few days later, is also coming along.

You're all invited too. It's in Goshen, NY on Friday, Feb. 12 at 10 AM. I'm going to be talking about figure skating for an hour and then about writing books for as long as people might be interested. Most importantly, there'll be baked goods and hot chocolate and coffee. Well, the coffee isn't that important, but the baked goods and hot chocolate are enough to get me there.

The figure skating bunny rabbits were a gift from my friend Beth, who said she found them at a yard sale. Bunny rabbit boy is looking a tad frayed these days, and his pants are being held up by a very large safety pin. But that doesn't stop him, or bunny rabbit girl, from demonstrating jumps and spins and twizzles.

This year's talk is going to focus on proper edge technique and those nasty underrotated jumps. Marci has informed me that her knees can no longer sustain triple axels, even the underrotated kind, so it's going to be all the more important that the figure skating bunny rabbits perform to their utmost and keep their pants on.

Unfortunately for the figure skating bunny rabbits, it turns out Scooter's favorite skater is Tonya Harding.

He claims he was just retying figure skating bunny rabbit girl's bootlace, but figure skating bunny rabbit boy and I have our doubts!


Nora said...

Have you seen the new show Be Good Johnny Weir following the figure skater? I haven't gotten to see it yet, but he was just in the news because PETA got mad at him for having fox fur on his costume.


Susan Beth Pfeffer said...

Hi Nora-

I haven't watched it. Real skating (and real life) take up too much of my time as it is!

Elaine Marie Alphin said...

Poor figure skating bunny rabbits - I'm not sure they're ready for Scooter! Especially since he has a name and they don't appear to.... Even Andrew and Phyllis would be better than Boy Bunny and Girl Bunny when they're standing up to Scooter's minstrations. That must be why they took his attention lying down.

Have fun talking about Olympic figure skating in Goshen - wish I could be there!

Susan Beth Pfeffer said...

Hello Elaine Marie Alphin-

The figure skating bunny rabbits have names. They're Boy Figure Skating Bunny Rabbit and Girl Figure Skating Bunny Rabbit.

Five names for each one. That's two more than I have and four more than Scooter (although Scooter also goes by Little Monster and Stop Doing That!).

My word verification is "scarmn." It doesn't mean anything but it sure looks like it ought to.

Linda Jacobs said...

Your writing always makes me chuckle!

This is so weird, and I wasn't even going to mention it, but I dreamed about your mother last night. I know, Crazy! I visited her and she had this nice apartment in a facility and then I took off on a motorcycle. I don't even have a motorcycle! But, your mom looked great!

Anyway, say hi to her for me!

Fear Death By Water said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fear Death By Water said...

just so you know ... ARC is going for $35+ on Ebay ... Amazon is $11. Don't know if you should feel great or ripped off. ARCs are free and all.


Susan Beth Pfeffer said...

Hello to Linda Jacobs-

Isn't it funny who shows up in our dreams. I try to remember to tell my friends when I dream about them.

I recently had a long, fabulous dream, in which (among many other things), my friend Christy (who is a few months younger than me) pretended to be my daughter and called me Mater.

At least in that one, neither one of us hopped on a motorcycle!

Susan Beth Pfeffer said...

Hi Tim (aka Fear Death By Water)-

Whoo. It started at $2.99 and ended up at $35 and change (I've already forgotten how much change).

Boy, whoever was selling it (albeit illegally) must be very happy.

Gee whiz. If I hadn't sent all the ARCs I had to as many of you as possible, I could be a rich woman today. Of course then I would have flooded the market, and not even gotten $2.99 cents.

That's what happens when you write apocalyptic fiction. Even your fantasties turn bad!