Sunday, July 31, 2011

I Fought The Fruit Flies (And The Fruit Flies Won)

The gnats have been upgraded to fruit flies. I wish they were vegetable flies, since I eat a lot more fruit than vegetables.

My garbage can (recently renamed Cujo) remains in exile on my patio. My cutting board, aka Fruit Fly Riviera, is on the patio as well. My fruit is in the currently uninfested refrigerator.

I gave in to the dark side and bought insecticide, some organic stuff that guarantees if it poisons me to death, I'll die green. The best I can say for it (and this is no small thing) is that it's not a fruit fly aphrodisiac. Although I do worry about its logo: Be Fruit Fly And Multiply. But since I can't be trusted with anything that sprays, my kitchen walls are now permanently discolored.

I'm never getting my security deposit back so what do I care.

Scooter is out of sorts because I held off giving him his canned cat food yesterday. Today I fed him but he's still out of sorts because the fruit flies like canned cat food almost as much as he does.

My mother is sort of in sorts. She seems to be accepting the nursing home fairly well. Yesterday (and I was there to witness it), a physical therapist came in just as she was being served lunch, to tell her he'd be in after she'd eaten to take her to exercise. My mother informed him it wasn't good to exercise after eating. I gather she convinced him and she was spared the ordeal of getting up out of her chair and walking.

As you can tell from my complete (and unusual) inability to answer any of your comments, I remain frazzled and unproductive. In theory I'm going to start writing again today. I also have some fantasies of throwing out the garbage bag and giving Cujo a massive scrubbing. I think I'll try to smuggle my cutting board into the dishwasher. Maybe the fruit flies will follow it there and get scrubbed out of existence.

The best thing about this July is tomorrow it will be August!


Anonymous said...

This is why Freda is honing in on her 100th Birthday.

What sort of therapist would have anyone, much less a centurian exercise after a meal? Or announce that exercise would occur - how could one possible digest?

There has got to be a piece of hidden fruit somewhere. A forgotten banana peel atop the fridge? A piece of apple stuck between the stove and counter?...
a gigantic sign on your patio reading, "Free Fruitfly Buffet?"

There's a lurking fruit somewhere...


anonymous is right the evil fruit can also bring ( bu bu bummm) ANTS! (gasp!)they are so freaky!

Susan Beth Pfeffer said...

Hello to Anonymous and to Youryoungestbiggestfan!!!-

The exercise my mother was so strenuously objecting to was a walk. It wouldn't have killed her.

I eat a lot of fruit. I don't know how the fruit flies first arrived here, but I'm willing to believe a couple of them caught a ride with a carton of blueberries.

And I'm glad they're not ants. I agree. Ants are very freaky!

Amy S. said...

Here's a tip! Venus Flytrap or Pitcher plant...they have them at home depot/lowes and they work GREAT! All the best!

Susan Beth Pfeffer said...

Hi Amy and thank you for the tip-

I'll try the bleach first (since I already bought a bottle), but the venus flytrap sounds like a great idea.

Just as long as it doesn't also eat cats!

Amanda Leigh said...

Okay, so my mom just told me that you should get an empty bread bag and put a banana peel in it. Eventually a bunch will fly in and you close it up and get rid of it. Lather rinse repeat.

Susan Beth Pfeffer said...

Hi Begins With M-

Thank your mother for me.

As it happens, I really really really don't like bananas. Their smell kind of makes me sick.

I think the fruit flies and I are going to have to learn to coexist. In the olden days, my cats had fleas, and I survived that. Fruit flies seem less unpleasant than fleas. And probably less unpleasant (for me at least) than bananas!

nancy said...

I realize this in almost two years later and I believe your fruit flies have reached a new forever home in my kitchen. My two sweet kitties don't like them one bit! I can see them jumping around their food bowls when it's time to feed my girls. I have finally put the permanent dishes away, put the food in paper bowls and throw each one away after we feed, and then pat their little heads and then I get buzzed for the rest of the night, lol. There must be something new by now that can be done to RAID my own kitchen and let the beasts leave forever! Nancy